Friday, October 5, 2012

Who Am I? (Who I Am)

It was the most heartfelt, incredible birthday present I have ever received from a friend. She apologized as she handed it to me, shaking her head as she laughed about how life had gotten away from her and how she meant to give me this gift on my actual birthday instead of a month or so later.

I hardly heard her.

"It isn't much," she continued, not noticing the tears as they filled my eyes. "I hope you like it."

My hands trembled, the letter they held quivering with the emotion coursing through me. A letter where she verbalized the characteristics she admired in me; comparing our friendship to that of David and Jonathan. The love that she poured into the words she wrote meant the world to me.

I think I walked on clouds all the way home.

"Thank you, Lord," I prayed that night, "for giving me this amazing friendship."

The pervading peace I suddenly felt in the middle of what has been a very difficult time in my life was unreal.

The next morning I woke centered and grateful. I turned on my computer and opened my email. I began reading a message from a friend, my body going still as my heart began to race.

It was a letter written in love, but it called me to account for some choices I was making in my life that caused her to question my character.

The pain I felt coursing through me was indescribable. I felt wounded and rejected. I began questioning my worth as a person and a friend. I desired nothing more in those moments than to fix her opinion of me so that she and I could be on solid ground again.

"God," I prayed, "please help me through this."

Twelve hours difference. Half a day separating floating on air and buried alive.

It wasn't until days later, after apologizing to and making amends with my friend who had been hurt by my actions, that I recognized why I rose and plummeted so quickly.

We will all encounter people who love us and people who don't. We will have friendships that get stronger, and relationships that end. There will be times when someone gives us grace through our mistakes, and times when that same person calls us to account.

As much as the rise and fall of these emotions affects us, our *worth* is not in other people's opinions of us.

Our worth and our identity is in Christ. Who we are to Him is unchanging. Whether we have our feet firmly planted on His path, or we're tangled in the thorns five hundred meters from the road, His love for us remains the same. (Luke 15:3-7)

Who am I?*

I have been bought with a price. I belong to God. (ref. 1 Cor. 6:19-20)
I am complete in Christ. (ref Col. 2:10)
I am free forever from condemnation. (ref. Rom. 8:1-2)
I cannot be separated from the love of God. (ref. Rom. 8:35-39)
I am the salt and light of the earth. (ref. Matt. 5:13-14)
I am God's workmanship. (ref. Eph. 2:10)

I am grateful for the times when my close friends pour their love upon me. I am thankful when they love me enough to hold me accountable for my actions. The fact is, everyone needs both grace *and* truth.

But I am learning that what others think of me is not a reflection of who I am in Christ.

"So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord--who is the Spirit--makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image." (2 Corinthians 3:18 NLT)


*Taken from http://www.ficm.org/index.php?command=textwhoamiinchrist