Sunday, September 18, 2011

Fostering Butterflies

Often it is the teachers that are taught.

My friend Linda appeared randomly at my front door almost two months ago. This, in and of itself, is not unusual. The randomness with which my good friend comes and goes through the pages of my story is one of the things I love about her.

What was unusual about this particular instance, is that she did not come alone. She came bearing two Monarch butterfly friends.

"I have caterpillars at home," she whispered. "Want to? It would be so much fun for your kids to watch them go through their stages."

I don't know that I was necessarily jumping up and down with excitement, but I was game.

And so Little Bob and Jewel entered our lives. Little Bob was a few days ahead in his development compared to Jewel, who was probably only two centimeters long.

So these little creatures became the focus of our kitchen. We fed them milkweed, made sure their leaves didn't dry out too quickly, and even took care of their little-caterpillar-droppings. And every day, they grew.

It was fascinating to watch their transformation. One morning Little Bob was hanging upside down from the top of the jar, curled into a shape like a J. Three days later, Jewel joined him.

And then they were gone...all that remained of them were two green acorn-shaped tubes.

Days passed...days and days.

Until...



Little Bob emerged, leaving Jewel to finish her own journey...



And soon, we awoke to her re-birth:



It was amazing what I learned from these butterflies. Sure, my children learned, too...science-type lessons that I assumed they would learn when Linda brought those tiny caterpillars to my door. But I learned so much more...as my friend knew I would, and as God knew I needed.

Because the season of caterpillars and butterflies just happened to coincide with six weeks of unending chronic pain for me. Pain that led to anxiety and panic unlike anything I had experienced since 2001.

God chose butterflies to teach me...

patience...
perseverance...
trust...
how to hang on...
and ultimately, that the best way to have control is to let go and let God take over.

The worry went away first. Thank you, God, that you made the pain last longer than I let the anxiety reign. Getting rid of the anxiety after the pain would have been easy...living with pain without anxiety takes faith.

Fostering butterflies taught me faith.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Reconnect

I heard from an old friend a few days ago. It had been more than a decade since we had last communicated; many of those years saw moments where I looked for him, searching for clues about the life and happiness of a boy-turned-man who had helped me through difficult moments in my young adult years.

My past and present collided when his name scrolled across my screen. To reach back...to hear about his life and his children...to open myself and give light to the teenager inside me that wished she'd had another chance to say thank you...I am so grateful.

As I was driving today, I thought about the vast number of people in this world who pray for re-connections. Not just friends, but family members...children, parents, siblings. My breath caught as I thought of the families who lost loved ones during 9/11...the knowledge that earthly connections ended so suddenly caused a rush of sympathy for a type of pain I can only imagine.

Then I thought...what about our Father? He loves us so much that even the hairs on our head are numbered. (Matthew 10:30) He created us and knit us together in our mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13) Yet how many of us have chosen to deny His existence? How many of us curse His name? And how many of us, those who have acknowledged and accepted Him, let days or weeks pass without reaching out to Him?

Are we connected?

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5)

The joy we feel when we reconnect with a friend or loved one pales in comparison to the joy God must feel when we look to Him and say, "Here I am, Lord."

Distance, time, circumstances out of our control, misunderstandings, and even death might separate us from those we love. But Jesus? "I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Joshua 1:5b)

If you need to reconnect....He's only a whisper away.