Failure to Thrive

She came to us at a little over four years old. The shirt she was wearing when she walked in our home for the first time was sized for an 18 month old. She didn't yet weigh twenty pounds.

She was the sixth foster child we cared for. Diagnosed with Failure to Thrive, it was our job to increase her weight by encouraging her to eat.

But, oh, was she a feisty one.

We would put the food in front of her, and she would stare at us defiantly. Eating was her method of control, and she was determined that she would win. And for a while, she did. How do you force a child to eat?

You can't.

So we did what we could do...we made the food available to her. We created it, and portioned it. We sat her in front of it, and we encouraged her. We surrounded her with siblings who ate with gusto just hoping it would motivate her to join them.

In the end, it took some tough love to get that little girl to pick up a fork. We set a timer for fifteen minutes. If she didn't finish her miniscule portions, she stood in the corner for two minutes. When that time was done, she got another five minutes to eat her food.

We did this cycle for a while, but she caught on. Within a week or two, the timer wasn't even necessary. And, miraculously, she started going back for seconds with the other children.

The scale started moving. A healthy glow flooded her cheeks. The doctors and her birthmom were thrilled. She was thriving.

It wasn't because of us. It was because of her. We loved her; we disciplined her, but ultimately she made the decision. And she reaped the rewards.

This little girl's story hit me personally a few weeks ago. I hadn't thought about her in over a year. Ultimately she and her brother were joyfully reunited with their mom, our moment in their lives complete.

But God's teaching moments are never finished. And He used my foster daughter to drive home a point I'd been slow in realizing.

I have had some Rough Moments in the months since my last blog entry. There were times during those weeks that I wondered why God seemed silent.  Wondered why I was struggling; feeling like I was failing to thrive.

In the midst of these ruminations one day, I realized it had been a while since I had opened the Bible. It struck me, in that moment, that perhaps it wasn't that God was silent...but that I wasn't listening.

So I opened the Word. And God said...

"In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ..." (1 Peter 1:6-7 NASB)

And God said...

"After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." (1 Peter 5:10 NASB)

And God said...

"The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9 NASB)

R.C. Sproul summed it up nicely in a sermon Steve and I recently listened to. He said, "Spiritual milk is not high on the list of dietary pleasures. But if you have tasted of the Lord, as the psalmist said, and know He is good, how can you taste of Christ and not want more?" (see Matthew 5:6 and 1 Peter 2:1-2)

We gave our foster daughter food, but she had to choose to eat it. God gives us His Word, but we need to choose to consume it. We won't thrive unless we do.

Everything we need for spiritual health and strength is right in front of us.

Sara Groves puts it aptly in her song, "The Word":

          And I think it's very odd
          That while I attempt to help myself
          My Bible sits upon a shelf
          With every promise I could ever need.


Sometimes His love compels us. Sometimes He needs to discipline us in order for us to look up at Him. But no matter what avenue it takes, He's waiting with open arms. And in His arms, we thrive.