Ripples

"Dear Lord," I prayed, "help them to see that if they are feeling bitterness and anger, it isn't from You. For the fruits of the spirit are love, peace, gentleness..."

What about you?

"Huh? What about me? I'm praying about other people's problems, I'm not talking about myself! I don't have problems with bitterness and anger, look how forgiving I've been. See?"

What about this?

"Oh. That. Well. Yeah."

Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:3-5)

Sometimes I hate those verses.

But I have learned to take notice when God taps me on the shoulder.

It's hard to pray for an end to bitterness when I'm the problem. Bitterness is the love child of hurt and anger. You can't get rid of it without getting at the parents...and hurt and anger are stubborn tenants.

I'm a hypocrite if I pray for others to forgive if I won't.

So I prayed again, "Lord, I can't do this on my own. I shut myself down because rejection hurts so badly. But hiding the pain from myself and justifying the bitterness is still sin. I'm sorry, God. Help me love this person who has wounded me. Open my heart. I give my anger and bitterness to you, and I forgive this person for hurting me. Forgive me for waiting so long. Amen."

I opened one eye first as if the world was going to look a little different. Everything was still the same...no earth shattering result to a prayer I should have prayed years ago. But, deep inside, I felt it...a small sprout from the seed of peace.

It's going to take a while to heal. I might get wounded again. But my heart is clean and I am right with my Father. That's what matters.

So I reached out to the person who I'd crafted a bitter fortress around. "I care about you."

She responded. "Thank you."

Two hours later, I got a phone call from another friend who also had a fractured relationship with this person. This fracture was the subject of many of my most fervent prayers over the last couple months.

"I heard from her," my friend said. "Out of the blue she called and told me she cares about me."

Tears.

It's what grace does. It's what God does. Just like a stone thrown in the water causes ripples across the surface...touching areas you would never assume would be affected. God used my obedience in forgiving and reaching out to the person who hurt me to help her see who she needed to reach out to. And in doing so, one of my prayers was answered. Ripples.

Ripples of forgiveness; a circle of healing that started with a prayer and grew.

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap." (Galatians 6:7)


"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:32)