The Battle with Fear

It has been a difficult and yet blessed season in my life over the last few weeks.

On one hand, my Christmas morning was beautiful and serene. The children add so much joy to my life, and seeing their excitement brought back so many good memories of my own childhood Christmas mornings.

We were supposed to leave later that day to drive six hours to Chicago and board the train to Rochester so that we could spend the remainder of the time with my family. Unfortunately, weather got the best of us and we had to turn around after hitting a particularly bad blizzard.

I don't know if that is what sparked it, or if it just the stress of the holidays in general, but I have definitely been dealing with some anxiety lately.

Tonight, my two youngest children are sick. Stomach flu I can handle...it might be gross, but it is predictable. But my weakness in the "my child is sick" anxiety department is definitely any illness that involves breathing. Coughing, wheezing...anything that leaves my poor little babies gasping for breath.

I've done the dance so many times. We've sat in hot, steamy bathrooms, we've stood in the cold. We've done the vaporizers and the doctor runs. And in all those times, through all those children, nothing tragic has happened.

Then why do I fear? Why do I fear when I know that God, the Ultimate Physician, is in charge?

I hate fear. It is my weak point, and the enemy knows it well. So tonight I am repeating Philippians 4:6-7 to myself, resting in the knowledge that God loves my babies even more than I do.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I pray peace for all of you, as well.