Saturated

Imagine, if you will, that I am a sponge.

I think I am sitting in the kitchen sink. Above me looms a huge faucet that is leaking water. Little droplets fall every few minutes right on top of me.

I don't know what it is about the last couple of weeks, but this image keeps coming to my mind. As little irritants that would normally roll off my back keep dropping into my life, I am getting angry.

Now that my sponge-self feels saturated, I am starting to leak the frustration I feel inside to the people around me.

Seeing the look on my children's faces when I snap at them for no reason made me realize that I can't continue like this. So rather than get angry about the fact that I am too angry, I am crying out to God:

Wring me out. Please.

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." (James 1:19-20)

Please.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled..." (John 14:27a)

Letting go of anger is a choice. It doesn't go away on its own, in fact it grows and takes on life when allowed to root within us. Getting rid of it is going to mean granting forgiveness that I don't feel like granting, and it's going to mean accepting that I can't control the actions or hearts of other people.

It's times like these, when I feel so much like a child, that I realize how much I need my Father.