Yes, God

This blog was not my idea.

Okay, well maybe it was in some way my idea, but I didn't really want to do it.

Well, if I wanted to do it deep within some small part of me, I didn't want to make it public. I didn't want to do it for more than a few weeks. I maybe wanted to try a half-hearted attempt where I knew that I wouldn't really ever be inconvenienced, because I would be in control. (I would say that I wasn't in control, of course, but deep down I would keep the security of knowing that I was.)

And so it was that I found myself reading in the bathtub this morning. (Where else can a mother of seven find time to read?) I happened to pick up a book that my Tuesday Morning Mom's Bible Study will be reading starting next week. The title is, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa Terkeurst. I read the first fifty pages (it became a very long bath, special thanks to my husband that I only was interrupted by one child during that time) and had that steady warm feeling that I have come to recognize as God's light touch on my heart.

I would love to say that my responding thought was, "Hooray! Here comes an opportunity from God!" But the reality (the elbows deep in housework, scheduled to the hilt, have to change the baby's diaper AGAIN reality) is that I thought, "Uh Oh."

But there it was. And the conversation between God and I kind of went like this....(you'll notice quickly that my words are the long, rambling, excuse-filled words, and His are short, simple, and to the point...)

"I think maybe I should do this...commit to saying Yes to God."

"You Should."

"I mean, I have had those moments so many times...where I really felt like I should do something, that God had placed something or someone on my heart, and so many times I passed the opportunity by..."

"Last Time You Listened."

"And that felt so good! Just that simple act of obedience, and look what has happened from that! Well, maybe I will try."

"Do It."

"Okay, I will! I'll do it for thirty days."

"Twelve Months."

"Twelve months?!?!? Do you know how many things I have going on, God? And I haven't been able to stick with anything for more than a couple weeks, let alone twelve months!"

"Twelve Months."

"That's a year, you know, God."

"Twelve Months."

"Okay, fine. A year. I will write about it in my journal."

"Publicly."

"Where everyone can see it?? No, thank you."

Silence (we've all had these Silent Moments from God, haven't we?)

"Okay, publicly. I'll start later."

"Now."

"Right, now, okay. Well, Aimee (my three year old) is using the computer. I guess I'll have to wait until later."

"Now."

"Right. Well I'll just tell Aimee..." my thought trailed off as I walked into my bedroom and saw that Aimee had already left.

Suppressing a sigh and a huge moment of anxiety, I sat down and silenced Dora's latest adventure with Boots and Map. "Yes, God."