When the Answer Is No

If you're anything like me, you have a really hard time saying, "No." After all, we want to make people happy, right? And if that means that we suddenly have fifty things on our calendar for the next ten days, well, we'll just have to get through it.

But does God want us to say, "Yes," all the time?

Long ago, when I began my Christian walk, I thought that saying yes to ministry opportunities was what I was supposed to do. I wanted to help, desired the friendships that blossomed when I was able to assist someone in need. So, sometimes, I committed to things that I really didn't have the heart for.

My world got a little bit crazy. I was rushing from one place to another, constantly thinking of the next pencil scratched appointment on my calendar. In all the chaos of trying to be everyone, everywhere, all the time, I started to lose who I really was.

It was the wisdom of my friend Beth that finally made me slow down. She told me that I was replaceable in almost every role I was playing in my hectic-don't-sit-down-for-a-minute life. Someone else can teach Sunday School, someone else can help a young mother clean her house, someone else can write the school newsletter. Maybe I have a talent for those things, but if I didn't do them, someone else would.

"But," she said, "No one else can be the wife to your husband. No one else can be the mother to your children. No one else can be in charge of enriching your relationship with God." Only me.

What happens if someone doesn't show up for a job that only she can do? You already know, don't you? Because you have been there, too. Things start to fall apart. When we take on too much, our families carry the burden with us. The crazy thing is that often we don't see how fast we're going until we slow down.

It's still hard for me to say no sometimes. The big difference now is that I take the time to pray before answering. It's amazing how many things don't seem as urgent after a quiet time spent in prayer. And guess what? Those times I've said, "No, thank you"? Nothing fell apart. The world didn't end. Someone else stepped up.

Sometimes someone else is *supposed* to step up. It doesn't always have to be that the answer to every problem involves us. That was a hard thing for me to figure out, but my important one-and-only roles have been blessed because I did.

Remarkably, learning how to say no to the things I don't feel led to do has enabled me to find so much more joy in the ministries and obligations that I do commit to. I look forward to seeing what is in store for me each day.